I saw you laughing one day.

You were coming out of the DA's office with a woman I didn't recognize. A redhead, tall and beautiful; she was striking, but she paled in comparison to you. I wanted to know who she was, what she had said to make you laugh so - something about her made me uneasy, and I half made the initial step to confront you. I would have, too, but my feet were frozen to the spot and I couldn't make a move.

My eyes followed you, though, and I found myself mesmerized by the sight. I marveled at how the sunlight caught your hair, making it seem to glow from within. The breeze swept it back, so it billowed behind you, revealing delicate, refined features and framing your face perfectly. The blue of your eyes, visible even from where I stood, was breathtaking in its clarity. You were a vision to behold. At that moment, I would have sworn on my shield that you were an angel on earth.

I wasn't sure what it was that made unable to look away from you. Despite knowing you for three years as SVU's legal eagle, and fully aware of an initial attraction I'd been careful not to reveal, I'd never felt as drawn to watch you as much as I was that day. It was almost as though I were compelled to watch the fluidity of your movements. As I observed your easy walk, your smooth grace, it dawned on me what was different: you were relaxed and casual. Almost carefree. So different from how you are when you come down to the squad room to question Stabler or me about an ongoing investigation; so different from how you appear in court, the epitome of a serious, professional ADA.

You smiled again, just before turning the corner and leaving my line of sight. I swear, it lit up your whole face. I'd never seen that look before. As the last blonde strand disappeared from view, I let out a deep breath that I hadn't even been aware I was holding, and an epiphany of sorts came to me: I wanted you to laugh that way for me. I wanted that devastating smile directed at me. I wanted to see the dimples in your cheeks, and the sparkle in your startling blue eyes. I wanted to know anything and everything about the one that had captivated my attention, all the many facets that contributed to the intelligent, compassionate, dedicated woman I'd come to admire. I wanted that woman - you - as more than a friend.

I want you, Alexandra Cabot. I have for a long time.

And I think I'm finally ready to act on it.