I'm not sure when I first noticed the attention (surreptitious as it was) but it's been apparent for longer than I can consciously recall. I used to catch her eyes lingering only to shy away when reciprocation was offered. It was almost as though she were shy. Imagine! The unflappable Detective Olivia Benson, shy.

She thinks she's all alone in this and I'm still not entirely sure she realises just how flattered I am. Flattered? Is that what I'm feeling?

I wondered about the detective from the moment I first laid eyes on her. A woman in a non-traditional role, all no-nonsense, all bluster, all charm, all... what exactly? Strength? Yes, but it was more than that. It was her uniqueness, her "feminine side of androgynous" appearance, her empathy, her compassion, her rugged beauty. That she was probably gay was a given and, yes, that's what most intrigued me about her. That and her (obvious to no-one but myself) interest.

That interest unsettled me for a while. Strange, I was never too comfortable with the idea of female sexual attention being cast my way. Each to their own was my viewpoint but I never considered it for myself. Never even really thought about it. Sure, I have gay friends... hmm... listen to me, words tumbling out unconsciously from years of programming. Such a cliche. Have to rethink all that now...

Now that I've lived with my own desires of a decidedly un- heterosexual nature. It's kind of crept up on me but I'm a lot more comfortable with the direction my sexuality is taking than I thought I would be.

Would be, could be, should be - gonna be! No more procrastinating!

I've got my head buried in paperwork and I can feel her eyes upon me once again. I have to do something about this. I'm afraid but so drawn to her. One emotion far outweighs the other - the "drawn to her" part. Okay, Alex, this is it! Catch those eyes and hold them. That's it.

Beautiful, wild, ebony burns right to my soul. I am instantly aroused by the penetration. I catch my breath and raise an eyebrow in question. Just to make sure. She relaxes into a smile and I'm smiling my "fantasy translates to reality" smile right back at her.

Finally... connection.